Firstly…HELLO…its been a while!! Been home schooling my children and wow it been well hard but I felt writing about the same “ground hog day” shit week in and out was’t for me, but the lock down has eased and I am out and about laughing at the world again and putting my spin on it but first I wanted to Finnish this…..

“School time! “, I shout most mornings from around 9 am (we do Joe Wicks later via youtube), by the time the monsters breakfast has gone down and the sugar rush has started to spin the cogwheels of there brains, the thumping of heels crash down the stairs and then the screaming into the kitchen for me to bellow out “SHHHHH” the lesson begins.

4 packs of schoolwork for my 5,7,9 and 11, kindly made by the school but we are NO teachers.

One by one I set out there goals for the morning, this then causes a mass of arguments because 1. Tibbius loves maths and will happily do it all day long but hates English (although likes reading? ) 2. ASBO the lazy one hates school, so there is a constant battle to get a couple of pages done let alone the computer assessments unless it remotely interests him (we think he is highly intelligent and came from space to wined us all up).

But we did have a breakthrough! it seems ASBO likes a bit of history, then again only on his terms, so for the past 9 weeks he has been on a quest to find out all about the Titanic, great at first but the conversations around the table are getting slightly dull now, as we have all heard all the stories and had to suffer the 100’s of youtube videos (fake as well !) and “No ASBO Jack Dawson is a fictitious character, it’s just his name existed on the ship!”

Tiddley, well she gets the raw deal, her packs seem to easy for her and the computer work a bit lame for her ability, so we hit the bigger books hard and she is coming on a treat, it’s scary when on our walks she can read the road signs and public notices!

Well that leaves Squash, he is stuck due to being year 6 and having his year cut short, he does try but needs 1 to 1 all the time and when did Y6 have to do fractions and angles? I’m struggling with the homework as much as him! cant wait for Y7 homework!!, but when he put the effort in he can really do well but it’s hard for him to keep his concentration with ASBO farting or generally being a pain in the ass around the table.

Well, thank the Lord! OK. the Government, Squash, for now, is back in school for 2 days a week, this gives him some reality but blimey does he mone, he is not happy as the other 3 are not allowed at the moment (we can use key worker schooling but have chosen not to) but Tibb’s and Tiddly want to go back to school, ASBO just grunts and walks off in the mear mention of school…Squash thinks it is unfair on him (although we do remind him his 6 hours of schooling 5 days week got cut to 1 to 1-1/2 hours daily when they shut the schools)

In this time since covid-19 I think that I have survived by drinking far too much (and I now seem to be trying to get a hangover as I have forgotten what one feels like, so I drink more…) and then the weight goes on, then off when I get the strength to have a day away from booze but then its followed by “yes drinking” I mean have you seen my Instagram?

Well keeping mentally strong…” bottle of wine!!” it’s true, my children like many others have learned life skills, they now know how to make a cuppa tea, use the microwave, make a sandwich, make some toast, clean and hover, grow veg, etc, us parents now know algebra and fractions and continue to struggle to find not only the answer to maths or what a semicolon is but a new drink in the local shop that they have not tasted, but sadly the booze is keeping me on a level, I just can’t wait to get back to work and go on the wagon.

So for me getting back to work is a priority, I have loved this time with the kids but my head knows that my liver knows its time to change, my body Defo knows that I need to start running again, but until then keep checking out my Instagram as my head is asking for another drink!

Keep safe